06 Regret

I retched, then heaved when I had nothing else to vomit. Seed rose and faced me.

"Why?" I asked.

"They wanted to kill you."

I closed my eyes and wiped  the bile from my mouth with the back of my hand. "You could've just restrained them."

"And have them victimize others?"

I  looked away and tried to stand. I cold hands were around me when I stumbled. I tried to push them away, but stopped. I leaned against one of the trees. "Did you have to be so brutal about it?"

Seed just looked at me.

I took a deep breath, and gagged at the stench. I gestured at the blood and gore. "Did you have to do this?"

He nodded.

I covered my eyes and walked away from the blood, gore and reek of death. His footsteps followed me. I took a deep breath. "Did you have to make them suffer like that?"

"They had to know how their victims felt."

I took in the cool clean air.

"What would you have done if you were with someone other than me?"

I looked at him. Chrysa came to mind. I clenched my fists.

"What if it was yo—"

"Shut up," I interrupted. I didn't want to hear him say it.

Rose was suddenly before me, clothes torn and bleeding from cuts. Her eyes were swollen from the tears she cried and her lips from a blow. Her eyes glistened and tangled hair framed her face. "Would you have let them just do what they wanted?" her voice quavered.

I took a step back and clenched my fists. "I would have tried to—"

"Look away?"

I lunged and held her by her torn collar. My eyes wide with unfocused rage. She hung limp in my arms as her hazel eyes bored into mine.

"You were paralyzed."

I closed my eyes.

"You didn't do anything."

I grit my teeth.

"Did you want me to just let them do what they wanted?"

"Stop." I tried to drown her words in denial.

"Did you want to—"

"Stop," I shouted. I was trembling, my heart beating frantically. I raised my hand to silence her words.

"So all you want to hit me now?"

I opened my eyes and stared at her. She whimpered and  struggled in my grasp as she shied from my raised hand. I let her go and turned around. I shouted my frustration into the night. "I'm not like them."

"You are exactly like them," her soft voice said. "You only fight those weaker than you."

"I'm not like them." I pleaded.

"Because you didn't hit me like they did?"

"I'm not like them."

"But you wanted to."

"I wanted to save you,"

"But you didn't."

"I couldn't." I begged and looked down.

"So don't fault me for taking action."

"But you didn't have to—"

She turned me around and the intensity in her eyes took my words away. "If you don't agree with how I do things, do it yourself. I Acted because I had no choice."

I kept silent and watched Rose melt into Seed. What could I have done? Chrysa, Ash and... how would they live without me?

I heard something dragged through the dirt, I looked fearing it would be the severed arm or something equally gruesome. It was just a piece of wood; a thick branch or a young tree in Seed's arm. I turned away to look at the clear night sky. What should I do?

Rapid footsteps approached from behind. I turned and my eyes widened as I saw seed dashing towards me with the wood in tow. "Seed wha—"

He smashed the branch into my side. I could do nothing but scream. I tried to stop it with my hands. I closed my eyes afraid to see what would happen. I felt the bark then the wood,then nothing as my hands tried to stop the force. Something snapped and I adjusted my stance to compensate for the push. I staggered, but I was still standing.

"Open your eyes."

"Seed you madman," I screamed. I threw something at him then stared as he disappeared to dodge the branch I threw at him. It streaked past and impaled a tree behind, parts of it splintering from the impact.

I looked ta my hands; sore but I could still move it without pain.

Leaves rustled and I saw the branch drop from seed's hand.

"You could have stopped them,"

I stared at him, hands trembling at my side.

"If you had tried."

"But I just stood there."

"So I did what I had to."

"If only I knew."

"If you'd tried, you would have found out."

Footsteps slowly fled and I watched seed walk away. I looked at the branch that impaled the tree, then the one on the ground. I never even tried. All the rage and frustration fled me. My shoulders slumped and I followed Seed home accompanied by lonely mooing.